When the energies of spiritual awakening arise very often so do the energies of fear. It is in these moments when the body feels invaded and out of conscious control that the experiences of transformation becomes real, and the illusion that we can jump out of all of our personal conditioning into a permanent state of transcendence is shattered. Our body, mind, emotions and spirit are in a process of radical change.
Our bodies are fields of energy, living, changing and vibrating with the life force.Awareness moves through these energy flows connecting us with many experiences.
Yogic science describes 72,000 lines of energy in this grid, connected by chakras: these flows of energy are responsible for all our movements and responses including breath, coughing, sneezing, blinking, digestion, elimination, the heart pumping and every other condition of movement we experience as living beings. When Kundalini energy activates it unlocks our vital energy at the source and intensifies the experiences we have, as it moves through the body and into the brain, connecting us ultimately with universal energies. What I have seen over the years of listening to many who have awakened kundalini energy is that this is essentially a clearing process, shaking loose old patterns, memories, blockages or knots in our energy field so that the body can become open and present without contraction or reactivity. In the process new potentials are also activated.
When people write about negative experiences with kundalini on the web they are describing their own challenges with letting go, either at the physical or emotional level. The “letting go” is trying to facilitate the release of identifications with our body, mind and feelings. Deep unconscious material may arise, or archetypal visions related to the collective unconscious. There is a place of deep stillness and presence available when we are not identified with the history and beliefs stored within us, personally and collectively – rather like the deep sleep we have when we are not for the moment aware of our personal self. Awakening is awakening to this consciousness/awareness that is alive in us prior to association with all these attachments. The letting go that comes with awakening is not under our control, but is a deep transformative process that is taking us into this unknown or unremembered realization, and it can be very frightening for the little “me”, the holder of a separate sense of unique perspective and history we each collect as human beings. It can feel like annihilation, but no more dangerous than the annihilation of an infant in the service of becoming an adult. We discover that which never changes in the midst of the continual flows of life.
There are many experiences in this journey to the deeper Self, the Oneness of consciousness shared by all. Some of them are exquisite and expansive and overflowing with love. Some of them feel invasive, out-of-control, disruptive of our lives and self image. Many of them are unfamiliar and some feel overwhelming. To the extent you can see the fear as energy, a reaction of the little me who prefers control and predictability, and explore being curious and open to what is happening, willing to just let go and let be with whatever is, you will be leaning into a more awakened life and discover wonder and grace in this evolutionary process.
As awakening becomes more stable it does not mean the end of all feelings. But as we learn acceptance of whatever arises the energies can help the feelings release more smoothly and quickly, because there is no longer a need to hold on to the stories they represent. Awareness notices the feelings with compassion, and holds them in a more broad perspective, seeing the nature of consciousness manifest as humanity. They are just energies moving through, perhaps as a personal release, perhaps for the universal good of the species. Awakening shifts perspectives, energies and human capacities for wisdom and love.